SELFHOOD on: Moving back in to the family home

by Adele Lefebvre du Prey

Photo by Rhett Noonan on Unsplash

For thousands of university leavers, graduation now means a return to childhood bedrooms, house rules and scheduled meal times. We spoke to our Collective about what it’s like moving home after years of living away.  

‘Back in their day’, our parents left school, graduated from college or university and moved into their own place all by the age of 23. Nowadays, we are looking at a very different picture. House prices are astronomical, rent is extortionate and wages have stagnated. 

For many the only solution is to move back with mum and dad - and research suggests two thirds of young adults in the UK aged 20-34 have done exactly that. What’s more, a decimated job market has left many without a stable income, meaning they may be waiting longer than anticipated for the independence they crave. 

SELFHOOD member Theo, 24, told us “It’s bloody frustrating, because from a young age, I was told that if I graduated from a good university, with a good degree, I would be able to get my dream job and be ‘an adult’. But the reality is that job applications are totally oversubscribed and the industry I am now in gets away with paying very little, quite frankly. I am very fortunate to move back to my parents but it’s far from where I thought I would be at this age”, 

For some this is tantamount to their worst nightmare.

Having spent 4 years living independently, rolling in when you want, eating what you want and seeing who you want, reverting back is a hard pill to swallow. 

“It’s now my parents' home, not mine. I have to be extra considerate with how I live my life now and it’s driving me crazy.” Hannah, 22, told us.  

On the other hand, Peter, 25, is happy at home (for now): “All my school friends have moved back and during the lockdown we reconnected. It’s been great to have friends locally. Not only that but living at home means I can save money, and the goal is that when I move out, I move for good.” 

Whilst everything else in the world seems so uncertain, to have the security of a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in and people around you to support you is a blessing - particularly when it’s a short term solution.

But with living costs only going up, the gap between aspiration and reality is growing rather than shrinking for many. 

With more young adults than ever stuck at their parents’ homes, opportunities to feel free and independent again will have to come from elsewhere.

Naturally there is a desire to feel like they are growing and making a difference in other parts of their life whilst their living situation is at a stand still. Employers, brands and organisations that can provide a break from the stress of living back at home - be that through escapism, personal development or financial support - are more likely to hit the right note with a generation of graduates battling with a sense of stagnation. 

Graduates are being forced to take a different path through adulthood. It’s crucial that businesses recognise this if they want to connect with them.